Kindness over Niceness

A casual conversation with UU World editor Kenny Wiley led to my saying “I need to write about this” and Kenny saying “do it and I’ll see if we can publish it.” So I did, and he did, and now it’s been published online and in print. Read it here.

What I Missed Yesterday

If you read yesterday’s blog post, you might think I am too much of a pessimist, that I can’t celebrate victories without bringing everyone down.  I guess that is what I did; I have been long cognizant of the “middle class white” nature of the marriage equality fight, and I let the bigger picture take …

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One More Step

Four years ago, when the New York State Legislature voted for marriage equality, I received the news with a mix of joy and sadness, relief and regret. I was so excited that justice, equality, and love won that day – but I missed my partner Tricia terribly; when she died in 1998, marriage was a …

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Scoundrels

This is not the sermon I had planned to deliver today. My plan was much more light hearted – talking about some of our most prized notables in our Unitarian Universalist history and their scoundrel nature – the mean nurse, the secessionist senator, the huckster showman, the tattletale pastor, the murderous daughter, the philandering minister. …

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Matching our Insides and our Outsides

A colleague of mine – a strong, brilliant, creative woman – recently took to Facebook to note the amazing experience of putting good energy out to get good energy back. In her post, she warned those inclined to mansplain the experience not to try to convince her she was wrong, because she believed in this energetic relationship …

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How Have We Failed Them?

Ever since the shootings in Santa Barbara, California that sparked the powerful hashtag #YesAllWomen, I’ve been paying more attention to the so-called men’s rights movement; men who follow this perspective believe we are actually in a matriarchal society, that women have significant control over men, and that women should abdicate authority – particularly when it …

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Bi the Way

I have never been comfortable with the word “bisexual.” As a young queer woman in Durham, North Carolina, in the 80s and 90s, our community was very clear that we would use the acronym LGBT, but we would struggle with the T (a subject for another day), and we would not believe the B. I …

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Thus Do We Covenant

When I submitted the week’s topic last month, Covenant seemed like a good, fairly neutral way to explore our faith and our relationship to one another. It seemed like a good discussion to have as we embark on the new church year. And then last week, the bad news started pouring in. Another in a …

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An Auspicious Beginning

Some people start their ministerial internships writing learning agreements, figuring out the copier and the coffee maker, and meeting absolutely everyone. Others start their ministerial internships writing generic wedding ceremonies in case the courts allow same-sex couples to marry and speaking to the press at a rally on the courthouse steps. That mine began with …

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What Am I Afraid Of?

I don’t understand it. I am an extrovert and love to process ideas, emotions, and experiences with people. I hold strong opinions about equality, justice, compassion, and ethics. I am willing to be in a crowd of people rallying for causes, to sign a petition, to write letters, to even blog a bit about things …

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Fallout and Pushback

The look on Kevin’s face said it all. Kevin (not his real name) and his girlfriend Joann (not her real name either) had joined me for lunch, and the discussion found its way to the shooting in California, #NotAllMen, #YesAllWomen, and the subsequent conversations that have erupted this week. Kevin, one of the most gentle and …

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A Mother’s Day for All of Us

Unitarian Universalists are great spin doctors. What I mean is that Unitarian Universalists are very good at redeeming holidays and holy days. On Christmas, religious educator Sophia Lyon Fahs reminds us that “each night a child is born is a holy night.” Easter becomes not just a celebration of Christ’s resurrection, but of the resurrection …

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Pressing Concerns

The building of my home congregation is wedged between three worlds: a funeral home, where people bring their grief and mourning; an old home subdivided into a surprising number of small, crowded, but affordable apartments for those who make little in the tourist industry; and an extraordinarily large, recently constructed stone mansion, complete with gatehouse …

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